Cheating in relationships can happen with both men and women and for many reasons that one may or may not be able to justify. The reasons of cheating on someone may however differ from person to person and we are not going to be judgemental.
Unfortunately, in today’s times, we as a society, back up with support when a woman cheats on her man, however, a man is not forgiven for the same act. Cheating is a moral wrong and Supreme Court of India has also decriminalised Adultery in 2018. If any person is not happy or satisfied in his/her relationship, they should simply face the situation, set the other partner free instead of misleading him/her while being in a relationship with someone else at the same time.
Ajay (Name Changed) works for the armed forces, operates submarines and mostly is at sea. He was a simple man looking for love and settling down with a loving wife. All he wanted to see is a happy family.
Ajay got married in 2017 and soon he had to resume his duty. His wife never stayed at her matrimonial home and preferred to live with her parents whenever her husband was away for work. The couple was blessed with a daughter in 2018 and this is when his wife decided to join him in Mumbai, but once again they could not spend much time together due to Ajay’s work commitments. Ajay shared,
This is the time when my wife starting having an affair with one of my colleagues. She even saved his number by his wife’s name. Some people would say this story is exactly the same like 2016 Akshay Kumar starrer Rustom.
Husband shares that his wife Anju (Name Changed) immediately walked out of the home, when he confronted her about her extra-marital affair. Shockingly, within two months, he was served with a barrage of false legal notices and cases, along with a demand of Rs 20 lakh. Ajay shared,
Even after having legal proof and screenshots of her whatsapp chats, I was helpless. No one was ready to listen to my side of the story and I was bounded by two set of rules – one of the service and then IPC; while she, as a woman, was free from any legal implications. What if the roles were reversed? Would I as a husband be forgiven and let free?
No Access to Daughter
Even though Ajay felt the pain of betrayal, he still continued giving all the love and respect to his wife. Their daughter is now 3-years-old and he has not met her since the past two and a half years.
Continuing Complaint Letters By Wife
Ajay shares that his wife has been writing several disturbing and false letters to his head quarters addressing it to his Commanding Officer. After being in service with pride for nearly 15 years, his image has been tarnished and he has been portrayed as a criminal for something he had not done. Ajay says,
My wife’s mother is the biggest reason behind this and she openly said that either you pay or I know how to send you to jail.
Husband shares that his mother-in-law even threatened him to transfer his Delhi apartment or buy a new apartment in her daughter’s name.
False Allegations Against Husband’s Father
What disturbed Ajay the most was the false accusation his wife put on his father. Ajay’s father is a retired army officer who served for 34-years. He was disabled due to an injury during the Kargil war. However, his wife accused her father-in-law of sexually assaulting their daughter (his granddaughter) when she was six months old. Ajay says,
The irony is my wife never told anyone about this, until she was caught having an affair. She used this opportunity to malign my family and also fix us.
Dealing with betrayal in a relationship has its own healing process and something which Ajay is still going through. Just because he is a man does not mean he would not be going through an emotional crisis. In his case, the child custody will definitely be granted to the mother, as he is on the sail most of the days in the year. However, this also means, that he would not be able to meet with his daughter who will remain in the custody of his wife.
In the above case, it is easy for one to defend the woman, because of the work schedule of the husband, that did not permit the two to spend more time together. However, the woman was fully aware of the nature of work of her would be husband, and if she was unable to adjust with his lifestyle, she could have legally ended the marriage in a fair way and set him free. However, women centric laws today, have become a tool for disgruntled wives who use them to their advantage until their demands are met.
Men have even more challenges in a matrimonial dispute, especially when every single law favours the wife. This was Ajay’s story and if you are going through something similar, do speak up.
Author: Nandini Shah is a 3rd year Bachelors of Journalism student and currently working as an intern with MDO.
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