A campaign initiated by Men’s Day Out is surely bringing out several stories, where Men or young boys have been suppressed or could never gather courage to emote themselves to anyone.
One such story has been shared with us by a college going student from Delhi. He narrates his ordeal and harassment done on him, by none other than his own mother and sister, after his father’s death.
My family dynamics since childhood were very far from normal. (This I won’t be able to elaborate here). I am a student pursuing my master’s degree from a University in Delhi. I took admission to the course in 2015. A month later, my father got diagnosed with cancer. I returned to Kolkata so that I could take utmost care of my parents. My mother also insisted on me returning and thus, without hesitation I stepped back and went home.
I lost my father to the C Battle in 2016. After my dad’s passing away, on one of the occasions, my sister bit me hard, marks for the same are still visible on my thigh. My mother and sister beat me up and I had to be admitted to a local hospital. The duo also raised a false alarm & threatened to get me arrested.
My mother later started threatening me of not giving money and transferring the property to the daughter’s name. I had to just keep mum, because of society’s bias towards women.
Back to College
I resumed my studies in 2016. After the first semester was over in December 2016, I wanted to go back home, however, my mother refused and told me not to come. I had to skip my second semester because I was diagnosed with jaundice. Thus, I later returned to Kolkata only at the end January 2017.
After a year at college again, I returned home in December 2017 and tried to talk to my sister. However, she created a scene and started screaming and physically assaulting me. A neighbour, on hearing the commotion, not only verbally threatened me but also roughed me up, stating that they would lock me up in the home and also declare me someone who was mentally unstable.
I was repeatedly told that I should be careful since I am a man while they are women. My mother as always supported her daughter all through.
Missed My Exam
During the final semester in May 2018, I had chosen my exam centre in Kolkata. This was done with my mother’s permission six months prior to the exam. However, when I booked a ticket for my hometown, I was threatened not to turn up.
I reached home but was not allowed to enter. There was no reason for them to do this to me and I missed my exam. Later, both the mother and daughter locked up the Kolkata apartment and left for Mumbai.
I Am Suffering From Trauma
Kindly note that I was (and am still) undergoing a continuous trauma, not just due to my personal mess, but also due to ragging and department politics at college. My mother was aware of this situation, however, instead of helping me, she added to my woes carefully exploiting my circumstances.
I then stayed back in Delhi itself and became totally aloof from everyone. My mother also started curtailing my finances which led to sudden discontinuation of my medical treatment. I had to be admitted to AIIMS Emergency Ward due to aggravation of haemorrhoids.
Despite me being in such a condition, I was given threats by my mother and sister over the phone that they would get me assaulted if I returned. My well-wishers too who called my mother, were taken aback witnessing her cold behaviour.
After all these instances and constant suffering, I lodged an email complaint with Delhi Police (in mid July 2018). As a rebound, my sister threatened with complaint of of false rape case against me.
I was so traumatised by these occurrences in my life, that I began wandering absent minded to lonely unsafe areas.
In October that year, I was knocked off unconscious. Half an hour later, I woke up in a pool of blood with multiple fractures in my jaw & teeth dismantled. My phone was missing too.
Delhi Police questioned me several times, why was I roaming in such lonely areas far away from the campus, despite being from a reputed institute. My mother was only lying conveniently to various people who tried to contact her.
I underwent a surgery on October 22, 2018 with great difficulty at CDER-AIIMS under GA. I was discharged the next day, and reached Kolkata on the night of 25th.
Again, my mother tried to snatch the file containing reimbursement papers and refused to let me in.
When I once again approached police station locally, the SI told me that this was not a police matter and that I should approach a court in such matters.
In such a post-surgical condition with bandages on my face & wire-locked jaws & luggage (I was advised complete rest). I once again requested them to allow me to enter.
The duo then called police who came with some local strongman and accused me falsely of harassing and torturing my family. I could barely stand let alone speak. They even told me that I was acting and this was a mere get up and not real injuries.
I was so terrified and I decided to return to Delhi again in that condition.
Used Gender To Win Confidence
My mother and sister used widowhood, socio-sympathetic situation & gender to win confidence of local people – who are not witness to their false claims – to torture me, exploit me and systematically damage me forever. I had repeatedly sought help from police due to growing distress and warned them of mishap.
I am unable to cope any more. Recently I got in touch with suicide helplines. I have always been under the impression that others won’t believe me….people will always think that abuse can never be perpetrated by family members….because this is the most pious of all relations.. I could never open up…
I am unable to write more. It’s painful. Please….
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