Save Indian Family (SIF) is a Men’s Rights NGO for Men in distress, especially for the ones undergoing domestic problems back at home. SIF is a conglomerate of NGOs across India, which came into existence in 2005. Currently, SIF has over 40 NGOs under the umbrella across the country.
The unprecedented times of lockdown and its period of extension in the country has created a situation suddenly, where many working men who are at home 24/7, have been left to the harassment, abuses, taunts and sometimes even physical violence by the wives. Yes, this is the other side of domestic violence, which sadly goes unnoticed or becomes a topic of funny social media discussions.
The trauma of husbands is not just an exaggerated statement, but real instances backed up by as many as 1,774 men from 22 states across India who have reached out to SIF on its nine helpline extensions in April till date. All calls of distress have been alleging domestic violence by their spouse. The Trustees of the NGO, however, say that the average number of calls attended during the lockdown have reduced by 40 per cent, compared to the months before the lockdown was imposed.
On April 28, SIFONE released an official press release detailing out the number of calls received. The NGO also posted their national helpline number +91 8882 498 498 where men suffering from domestic abuse can reach out for assistance. SIFOne is the all India helpline for men in distress run by volunteers of SIF (group of NGOs).
#SIFONE #8882498498 Helpline for Men sees 40% reduction in calls during Lockdown as Men are unable to reach out for help. Let’s Stop #DomesticViolenceOnMen and #MakeHomeSafe4Men Most States show more than 50% reduction on call volume during #Lockdown i.e. April 2020.
#SIFONE #8882498498 Helpline for Men sees 40% reduction in calls during Lockdown as Men are unable to reach out for help.
— Men Welfare Trust (@MenWelfare) April 28, 2020
#SIFONE #8882498498, Helpline for Men, sees 40% reduction in calls during Lockdown as Men are unable to reach out for help.
— SaveFamilyFoundation (@SFFNGO) April 28, 2020
One of the Trustee of the NGO, Maninder Singh said,
Several men who have approached us on our helpline numbers, have said that they are victimised by their wives and are unable to contact during the day because being threatened. Thus, there is a dip in the number of calls. At least 95 per cent of the calls are received around 10 pm, which was rare earlier, prior to the lockdown.
Sharing a compiled data of the calls received on its nine extensions, Singh told media that from April 1, most number of calls are being received on the extension of Uttar Pradesh-Bihar-Jharkhand-Uttrakhand. As many as 356 men have called from these four states in the last 26 days, while on an average 597 calls are received from the four states in a month.
As per the data shared by Singh, in April till now,
- Karnataka helpline has received 58 calls
- Punjab and Himachal Pradesh extension has received 88 calls
- Tamil Nadu received nine calls
- Delhi-Haryana-Rajasthan and Jammu and Kashmir were at 313 calls
- Andhra Pradesh-Telangana recorded 24 calls
- West Bengal-Orissa and North East collectively at 46 calls
- Maharasthra and Gujrat extension received 185 calls
- Madhya Pradesh and Chattisgarh extension got 110 calls
- Uttar Pradesh-Bihar-Jharkhand-Uttrakhand extension received 356 calls
- Meanwhile, 577 callers did not opt for any extension
The data also revealed that on an average the NGO helpline receives 113 calls every day. However, the number of calls have reduced to 68 every day since the lockdown was imposed.
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Amit Lakhani who heads Men Welfare Trust under the SIF umbrella also tweeted, how homes were becoming living prisons for lot of men who were unable to express their pain. He wrote,
Homes have become prisons for lot of men who r silently facing #DomesticViolence during this #CoronaLockdown. With absolutely no recourse under law for #DomesticViolenceOnMen, I fear that these silent sufferings should not get converted to anxiety, depression or even suicides.
Homes have become prisons for lot of men who r silently facing #DomesticViolence during this #CoronaLockdown.
With absolutely no recourse under law for #DomesticViolenceOnMen, I fear that these silent sufferings should not get converted to anxiety, depression or even suicides. https://t.co/jewCUpwvPt
— Amit Lakhani (@TheAmitLakhani) April 28, 2020
Sharing his thoughts with Men’s Day Out, Amit said,
Ever since the lockdown, we have been getting calls on our helpline by men who are facing various forms of domestic violence at home. At a time when they’re already under pressure amid the uncertainties that the lockdown has brought with it, they are being subjected to taunting, abuses, insults, physical, mental and sexual violence by their wives.
We have been carrying out an online campaign with #DomesticViolenceOnMen to reach out to men facing domestic abuse, with a message that they should come out and share and not think of any self harm or suicide which sometimes men resort to when they see no hope in the absence of any legal protection for them.
Some of the cases received by the helpline during lockdown read as follows:
Around 10.45 pm on Sunday, a 30-year-old man from Chandigarh called the helpline number alleging that his wife was assaulting him and had also summoned the police over a false complaint. He informed the helpline counsellor that for the first time in their six-year-old marriage, his 28-year-old wife was assaulting him and forcing him to let her go to her parent’s house in Lucknow. Since he disagreed in accordance to the law, she called the police over a false complaint. The caller was counselled by the SIF helpline counselors, asked to cooperate with the police and attend a personal meeting session with their expert after lockdown ends.
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Another caller who is an IT professional narrated how he was being harassed and tortured by wife while he juggled work from home. He said,
With these tough times my father lost his life in 2018 and my mother was alone in Ghaziabad. I am the eldest in my family, I couldn’t keep my old mother with me. For some occasions/festivals it is a very painful for me to decide what to do. I know, only my presence to my mother can feel her happy but it’s of no use. However, I kept on running my life without any self-esteem.
Now, another havoc came in my life during this lockdown period. Now, being working in an IT company, I have started working from home which was quite unacceptable to her and there was a hue and cry while speaking to office mates at home as this was disturbing her. I was working from home. Talking much lesser and sitting at a single place and doing few house hold work including washing of utensils. On 16th April, she asked me to wash utensils which I shared that I will but I need sometime as I am occupied with urgent official work. It fuelled her and she started throwing my official mouse/Laptop etc., it was much difficult for me to refrain her from such nuisance. Something against her wish is quite devastating for the atmosphere.
From next day, even food was not offered to me and I prepared myself tea, few toasts and Namkeen etc., I couldn’t go outside due to lockdown but not said anything to her because I have become habitual and only thing when I am loosing all hopes, I used to call her parents to help me out to calm her down.
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On 18th April, 2020 I couldn’t find my mobile and kept on asking her but she was showing tantrums and I was getting late for assigning work for my team members. I lost my patience and started shouting that she told that she will give it to me only after I will do sit ups in front of her eyes and give her in writing that I am caring her and will not ask her for any job, whatever may be the reason as being a husband it is my duty to bring money. In lieu of this, she is maintaining the house and preparing food and other house hold work.
I refused it but she had thrown mobile on my face after bringing it from some hidden place perhaps refrigerator. She kept on shouting at me while I was talking to my official team members and in exchanging arguments, she poured hot cup of tea on my face which I couldn’t bear as it was crossing the limits. I called up my boss that I am not well and can he give me few hours so that I can resume work after condition becomes to normal.
In the scuffle, she started beating me by Slippers and my elder son who was also at home started beating and kicked me brutally. My spectacles got broken, clothes got torn out and I got a cut mark on my cheek, behind ears and severe pain in shoulders. I went to local police station to lodge a complaint but I was refused and Police shared that domestic violence is being taken care by family court and they are not there to solve my family problems.
I have shared this with my mother who resides at Ghaziabad and called my Parents-in-laws too. My Parents In laws were also feeling ashamed on this deed of my wife ****** and my son. My mother’s BP went high and I have asked Police to issue me a Pass for travelling to Ghaziabad but police shared that I can apply for ePass which I had applied and came to Ghaziabad to look after my mother.
SIF NGO provides counselling, legal remedies and legal aid free of cost to the victims and you can reach them through their website at the bottom of our home page. Click Here.
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