Beta, shaadi kar lo, settle ho jaoge! (Son, get married, you will settle down)…..That’s the age old concept we all in India have been raised with. However, often we do not realise how marriage is not some finishing line to anything in life; Infact it is a journey which can be sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy & sometimes even a dead end.
Once again, separation or divorce should never be finality to any beautiful phases you would see as individuals once again! Also, when children are involved, it is completely upon a couple how to make their lives seem totally normal and often special.
We came across a wonderful post on Facebook by Bodhisatwa Dasgupta from Gurugram and we couldn’t help but share this positivity with all! Speaking with Men’s Day Out, Bodhisatwa – founder of The Voice Company – shared that he was married for 5-years before he and his wife decided to get divorced. The couple has a 9-year-old daughter and the couple is very much in touch and remained friends. Here’s his social media post below:
A few days back, it was my ex wife’s and my ‘ex anniversary’. Our 9 year old daughter, Mimi knows the date, and so she wished us. I was at a shoot, and she called and said ‘Happy ex-anniversary Baba!’
To say that my eyes welled up, would be to put it mildly. How could a little girl be so emotionally loaded, so aware of situations, and so accepting of situations? Clearly, in the way both my ex wife and me have brought her up, and the way we’ve been honest with her about everything, something seems to have stuck.
Because as co-parents, we’ve never shied away from the truth, or tried to shield her from what is. We’ve spoken about relationships openly, about how sometimes, partnerships don’t really work out. Which doesn’t mean that one throws the baby out with bathwater. It is possible for two estranged people to cherish what once was, be grateful for the opportunity spent in each other’s presence, rather than live a life filled with resentment.
I’m often asked why I put out these intensely personal things on social media. If you’re reading this, let me tell you why. It’s because I think this situation isn’t unique – of two people divorcing after they have children. And I know it’s very, very difficult to navigate. And the reason I put my stories out there, is because if you’re in a situation similar to ours, these stories may guide you, if nothing else.
Talk. Talk to your partner, or ex partner. Talk to your child. Be honest, and be real. Children can see through pretence. Spread love, not hate, as the saying goes. Talk about acceptance, talk about families and family structures and how it takes all kinds of relationships to make up this world.
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