Men’s Day Out is a portal raising awareness about gender biased laws and injustice towards men in the name of (fake) women empowerment. However, we do not limit ourselves to just the voice of men, but also extend the platform to women in their lives, who are impacted by such laws.
One such sister has reached out to MDO, who has narrated what her family has gone through after her brother’s marriage.
Guys, I would like to share what our family went through. My younger brother got married in May 2017. It was an arranged marriage. The moment he started his life with his wife, he found out that she had constant unexplained health issues. He first started taking her to various specialists, however, it didn’t help, as every other day she had different health issues.
The doctors recommended him to take her to Neurologists which he did. That didn’t help either. By this time he had realized that she had behavioural and mental health issues. He talked to her about seeing a psychiatrist and that’s the day her parents and uncle started threatening him. That’s the day they started blaming him for her behaviour and soon they gave us threats such as going to the police, involving goons, involving their influential relatives etc.
Birth Of Child & Threats By His In-Laws
By this time, my sister-in-law was pregnant so he ignored all those threats and focused on her well being. In the last trimester of her pregnancy, my parents joined them in ABC city and my mom took care of her. They had a baby in March 2018. Since my brother’s wife was unable to look after the baby, my mother had to raise the baby.
However, the threats, unnecessary interference from her family and abuse continued from June 2017 to December 2020. She would go to her parents’ home almost every 3-months and would refuse to come back, thereby blackmailing my brother. My brother, on the other hand, was always concerned about their toddler’s well being, would listen to all her demands and cope with daily drama, manipulation and harassment.
In May 2019 she went to her maternal house again and in August 2019, she instructed my brother that she would only return, if his (our) parents left. My brother had no choice but to give into her demand and my parents moved back to our hometown in XYZ city.
My sister-in-law returned to her matrimonial home in August 2019 and between August until December, hurt the child several times. On couple of occasions, the child had to get multiple stitches on his head. She would forget crucial things including giving medicines to the sick child, feeding and changing diapers etc. My brother somehow tried to balance his job and childcare.
Made False Dowry & Domestic Violence Police Complaint
In December 2019, she left my brother’s home again and this time she went to the police along with her father and made a complaint of domestic violence, dowry etc. (the usual stuff). Since my husband had tried to mediate to normalize things in the past, they also named my husband and me in the complaint.
The mediation sessions at the police station went on for a month. During this period the police also identified that my brother’s wife did have significant behavioural and communication issues; they too counselled her father and asked him to take her to a specialist and cooperate in her treatment. She was made to write a statement at the police station stating that she wanted to take the complaint back and would solve issues amicably through mutual understanding in future.
My brother, once again put their 1.5-year-old baby as priority, and brought her back home. However, this time he had to call my parents to stay with them, as he couldn’t take any more risks with the well being of the child.
My sister-in-laws’ father and my brother took her to a reputed hospital in Delhi, where she was initially diagnosed with Moderate Depressive Disorder and the treatment was started. She was later also sent for matrimonial counselling sessions. The treatment did show improvement in her behaviour, but was interrupted in April 2020 due to complete lockdown imposed by the government.
Second Police Complaint
On one particular day in May 2020, she called her father early morning and left home leaving the child. In next 30-minutes my brother got a call from the police station. They asked him to go there as she had once again complained about domestic violence, etc. This time my brother decided not to indulge in any police mediation. He requested the police to proceed with the complaint.
The same day he moved back to our hometown in XYZ with his son and my parents and in the next couple of months also filed for divorce. His wife’s father repeatedly tried to pressurize the police to sort out the case at their end and not to register an FIR. He wanted police to arrest all of us including my brother, my parents, my husband and me and wanted the police to forcefully hand over the child to him.
When nothing worked for her father for over 7-months, he finally agreed for an FIR. The FIR was registered in December 2020 under various sections against us including attempt to murder.
Right now the investigation is underway. We have submitted to the police the recording of CCTV cameras (along with audio). My brother has all her medical documents, WhatsApp chats where his wife used abusive language for him repeatedly, WhatsApp chats where he repeatedly asked his father-in-law about his false dowry accusations, call recordings where his in-laws are threatening him, etc. The police have been very fair so far and we hope that we will be able to fight it on merit.
What I Learnt As A Woman
It’s during this period, I realized how biased and blind our laws are. While there are millions of women who have to fight and struggle for basics such as right to education, getting equal opportunities, there are sadly many women who don’t even have an iota of fear or shame in falsely accusing innocent people just because they know the law will favour them.
There is one thing that I would like to conclude with, if a WOMAN ever threatens you with consequences if you don’t act according to them, she most likely surely intends to. It’s not a private matter between the two of you anymore. You must get alert and start preparing in your defence before it’s too late. You should also not shy away from sharing it with someone you can trust and get professional help.