Failure in a marriage can be painful – if the time spent with your partner is less, it is perhaps easier to move on, however, if you have lived with your spouse and child for nearly a decade, and the woman chooses to abruptly end all ties, the same can be traumatic.
However, every indvidual comes across grave challenges in his life – the same may not necessarily pertain only to personal problems. How one emerges stronger from such situations is what makes it inspiring in the end.
Here’s one story shared by a husband where he lived with his wife and child happily for almost 6-7 years, gave them the best lifestyle, yet, one tragedy in his life and the woman just left.
Rohan D’silva (Name Changed) is a doctor from south India and met his wife Hetal Shah (Name Changed) while the two were studying together in 2006. Both of them were studying medicine and during their interaction, the couple got close to each other.
Rohan was then 26, while Hetal was 24. After dating for nearly a year, the woman disclosed of her 1st failed marriage to Rohan. He was shocked and preferred to distance himself from the relationship. After completing her course, the woman returned to her hometown, yet kept sending emails to Rohan trying to explain to him how she had come out of the earlier bad marriage and wanted to start a new life with him.
I became emotional and we got friendly again. I met her family in 2008 and within two months, we had a marriage as per Hindu customs. I had kept my family in dark, since they would have never accepted a divorcee and also a woman who belonged to another religion.
Rohan’s siblings who live outside India too attended the function along with their respective families. The child was later born within a few months of the marriage.
Life & Career
I was financially independent by now. I called my parents to come over to our place, to look after child, since Hetal was busy with her course.My parents willingly came, took care of our child. My mom would also make special vegetarian food with separate utensils since my wife did not eat meat.
All was going well and I received a job offer from a foreign country. This was going to be a very well paying job and since I had taken loans towards home and car, I thought it would be a great move to progress. My wife too by now had completed her studies and was equally excited to shift base to a new country.Before leaving India, we went over to my parent’s place. I moved to the new location in early 2011 and my wife and child joined me later after 3-4 months, since they were in the process of making their passports.
I paid for the entire course, not that I should be obliging, however, she had my full support. Nonetheless, despite having an in-house full time maid, Hetal would constantly taunt me for that one year of her training, alleging that I had made her life miserable.
All salary earned by her, was splurged on herself. In fact, when we travelled to India for her sibling’s wedding, I had also bought her new jewellery. We three went for international family holidays where I paid every single penny, despite her earning well. But we were family so no problem. Things were all smooth and fine until now.
Now she thought she was as qualified as her husband. I was happy for her. We celebrated Diwali together with my sibling who lived in the same country where we had visited for her final exams and ultimately returned to our country of work.
I was diagnosed with a hearing problem, however, was not taking it seriously. It required a small surgery, but I had decided to undergo the same, once Hetal was through with her exams. So in 2014, we found out one of the best doctors from Chennai and shifted to the local hospital there to get operated.Unfortunately for me, my surgery went horribly wrong and I completely lost hearing from the left side. I could also not hear from the right side, without using a hearing aid.
Despite me being in such a condition where my surgery had failed, Hetal took our child and returned to the country of work. I was required to stay back for emergency steroids. My parents were with me all through, however, my hearing sense was totally lost.
Life After Surgery
Hetal started abusing and mocking me in every statement. She would taunt at me that I was balding, had become disabled, handicapped and deaf. After a point, I refused to speak with her if her abuses did not stop.Our petty fights started daily and all this was happening, when I was the one who needed support. I was already depressed for losing my hearing ability, yet she kept humiliating me.
I told her father how Hetal was constantly yelling and screaming at me, however, I also told him not to interfere between the husband and wife matter. The minute Hetal learnt about this, she ran out of the home and created a scene telling people that I was beating her.
My Wife’s Lies & Deceit
Now, whenever I would call her, she would yell and scream in front of our child and threaten me by saying that I should not forget my parents were still in India. She would abuse me in her mother tongue all the time.
Husband Approached Lawyers
I have got this notice, now you just wait and watch!
I could get the FIR partially quashed against my parents and siblings. I told to myself, whatever is there is against me, I will have to handle it myself, without dragging my family.She then filed multiple cases against me and since I did not appear in India, she also got an ex-parte divorce and full child custody. Police just issued an arrest warrant against me, without any B Summary or C Summary report. Even though I was constantly writing emails to the authorities, they said I was absconding.
Husband Moved To New Country
Husband’s Current State
I am trying to come to India, taking precautions that I do not get arrested. I am doing my best to first get anticipatory bail so I can come. I am charged under sections 498A and 376.My wife had also tried to connect with the interpol, however, they refused to intervene after looking at her evidences she submitted. She has gone back to her maiden name, and also changed our child’s surname to her maiden one.
Since I have not been able to visit India, my parents come and meet me here. My wife tried harassing my parents as well. She once visited their home with five policemen asking them to break open their personal locker.We had to engage a lawyer immediately, who rushed to our place and questioned her to submit the list of streedhan she claimed was in my parent’s possession. Hetal was unable to give any list and after all the drama at my parent’s place through the day, they left empty handed.My mother has already had a stroke and my father is diabetic.
Wife’s Extortionate Demands
I am willing to support my son fully but I need to have contact with him. I have a parental responsibility irrespective of what my ex-wife thinks.I have gone through some very difficult times, however, I have immersed myself in work and her attacks on me don’t matter anymore.