Confessions Of Techie | My Wife Chose No To Work Post Marriage; Then Kept Making Endless Demands

Marriages in today’s times, especially for nuclear families, have been mostly reduced to expectations of what husband earns, how he can keep fulfilling endless demands of wife, while women choose not to work and sit idle at home.

One cannot make sweeping statements, however, these scenarios are only increasing and somewhere the unrealistic one-sided demands are fully backed by girl’s parents.

In earlier days, women complaint of not being allowed to work, however, today where husbands and their families encourage wives to go out and be independent, most women choose not to do so with their own free will. To top it up, while being at home through the day, they also do not want to take up any responsibilities in the household work, because several feminist portals brainwash them how this could also be construed as ‘domestic violence’.

We came across one such story on a facebook page named The Corporate Mirror – Former ICCA, where an anonymous man has narrated the story of his newly married life. Here’s what he has to say:

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Hi… Non Infy guy…aged 35.. passout from a reputed engineering college and working in a IT company with a decent income. I got married a year and a half ago due to extreme pressure from my parents and relatives. Not that I disliked the girl completely but i had my own compatibility issues with her, as she is completely materialistic girl and a person who would bank upon others hard earned money to enjoy life. I asked my time to agree to this girl, and that’s when my father physically and mentally tortured to say yes to her. And finally I had to scumm to this pressure and got married.

The girl had initially said she is a career orientated person and would want to work after marriage, and simultaneously try for government administrative jobs ( I had my doubts here and I felt these were to impress me and I felt it’s not genuine ). When it was a week or so close to our marriage, one day she calls me up and says she prefers to stay at home and not work after marriage, for which I said OK too.

I had got her gold worth 3 lakhs (USD 4500) for marriage and this much gold was promised to their family by my dad without my knowledge.

Things were initially fine for first 2-3 months after marriage, and she started to demand gold chain, ear rings, and insisted I enrol a monthly based gold scheme in her name. She wanted a AC to be fitted in the bedroom, a dressing table and every month I should buy dresses for her. We have maid to clean and to do dishes, and on top of it she was demanding a additional maid who can cook.

Listening to all this, I never fulfilled any of her above desires thinking her desires will never end. Her mom is very much equal with this kind of a mentality and she is one who is guiding her with all this non sense. She is a kind of a person who doesn’t have a aim in life and all the time she used to tell me how guys (5-6 in number) were behind her in collage and work place.

We had some arguments one day and she left home in March 2020 and hasn’t returned home for 7 good months till now. Due to social pressure, I feel she will come back one day as she had a elder brother and a younger sister to be married off.

What should I do when she returns home ? Should I allow her to my home ? Need some genuine suggestions.