What Is Dowry?
Money (Cash), Property, Other Movable Or Immovable Assets demanded by the groom and his family from the bride, at the time of marriage and during the course of marriage is defined as Dowry. However, often the term Dowry is interchanged and also misused with the term “Gifts” which are exchanged by both families happily and willingly at the time of legally uniting as one. Remember how media went crazy in April 2016, flashing the story of Indian Cricketer Ravindra Jadeja’s soon to be in-laws gifting him an Audi Q7 worth Rs 95 Lakhs!
What Is Alimony?
The term ‘alimony’ has its origin in the Latin word ‘Alimonia‘, meaning sustenance. Generally speaking alimony means an allowance or amount which a court orders the husband to pay to the wife for her sustenance. Alimony makes up as the worst form of Male Inequality Statistics.
There are several articles written on Gender Discrimination and Women’s Equality describing how Dowry is a crime and in the same breadth hailing #ReverseDowry – Alimony as a sign of empowering fully abled women.
Section 498A is the most misused and abused section, if disgruntled wives want to settle score with the husband and his family. This section is also used as a threat to make the husband cough up a huge sum after marriage, many a times, even if the marriage has not lasted for a month.
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Independent journalist Deepika Bhardwaj, randomly posted a question on Twitter and the responses to her tweet, were shocking and nothing less than an eye-opener for many who have not heard or been affected by this foul play by by wives.
Bhardwaj mentioned one of the cases she came across, where the marriage failed within one week and the wife and her family demanded Rs 75 Lakhs to settle the divorce amicably, even though there was no Dowry exchanged.
One week of Marriage breaking down. Demand of money from Girl side : 75 Lacs to settle divorce amicably, even though no dowry was given to the boy.
What’s the most bizarre #ReverseDowry demand you’ve come across???
— Deepika Bhardwaj (@DeepikaBhardwaj) November 7, 2019
Men’s Day Out collated the Top 20 responses which were shared by social media users and these instances are very likely to occur in anyone’s homes:
A neighbour’s wife had love affair before marriage. Didnt stay even a month after marriage n asked for divorce. Her parents who earlier forcibly got her married keeping the groom’s family in dark supported the daughter and asked for money. They had to pay 50lakh
Ladke se paise leke wife New Zealand padhne gayee. Wahaan koi aur pasand as gaya, and divorce chahiye ab. Na paise lautaungi, na vaapas aoongi. Kar lo jo karna hai. In such cases men risk going to jail n passport cancellation. Lekin abla nari ke case mein sabko saanp soongh gaya
3) Bharath Bhat @metheonlyb
My flatmate told me a story of his close friend. The family is worth 700 Crores INR. The boy got married and after a month, she asked divorce and ₹350 crore alimony. Half their asset. The family being wealthy and influential, hired a top lawyer. They found out that she was back with her boyfriend. Somehow managed to get the divorce without paying the girl anything. It took me 15 mins to digest the fact that the girl asked ₹350 crores as alimony.
4) Dharmesh Patadiya @dmpaero
Mine asked Rs 50 Lakhs cash, a house or flat, share in property. She booked we 13 family members. I am fighting cases in courts.
5) #menspeak @nishant_ini
Haha. One more, no dowry demanded not even in alternate words. Plainly refused it before marriage. 2.5yrs of marriage, wife demanding 50 lacs and maintenance every month even after earning lac a month.
My relative’s family paid 40K per.month for first 5 years. Finally the boy paid Rs 40 lakhs to settle the matter.
A friend of mine also paid lot of money(beyond is means of income) to settle his divorce & it was a love marriage he spend huge amount before and after. She was having a simultaneously affair with a staff of airlines she was working one year after divorce later she married someone else not the staff. He was made to pay the lawyer fee from the wife side also. Been 4 years he is still paying friends from whom he borrowed money
8)o my goat!!!! @JHANDUpalm
There is a friend who too was blackmailed like this and was demanded 2 cr 10 yrs ago. They were jewlers and decided to give and shut the case. That friend never married afterwords and now a full time RSS pracharak
9) Chetana Baliga @BaligaChetana (This tweet comes from a woman herself)
Some fathers and their daughters have made it a business
One crore plus share in property. Marriage not even consummated
I know of sum1 who had to drag his marriage for 10 years ‘coz he didn’t have 5 lakhs tht she demanded 2 leave him within a week of marriage. When finally he did have money & got divorce after 10 years the demand was 40 lakhs that he paid to get rid of her. .That she stayed in his house and used his money for 10 years and also kept whatever she earned is separate ! The guy went thru immense nervous pressure and got lifelong health issues is another story !
3 days of Marriage. Girl demanded 72 lacs from Canada settled boy. No dowry was given. After 3 years they divorced and girl got nothing.
13) Sudha సుధ @rasu667
Few months of marriage, threatened in law’s to leave their son. When they didn’t, put them in jail citing harassment. Took 50 lakhs and then took her complaint against them back. Then got divorced.
14) haveaheart @haveaheartf
In one of the marriage which lasted Just one night…though there was no consummation.. Husband was Ordered by Court to pay 15 Lakhs.
15) Abhishek Jain @AdvocateAJain
A boy was asked ₹2 Crores despite the fact that the wedding took place in a temple with only 4 people present – Love marriage. Boy was working in US. Demand money is directly proportional to the financial status of the boy’s family.
16) Shoonyam @sinezero
Ten year old story. A friend got married, wife went to her parents a few months later, never returned citing in-law issues, demanded money. The guy had to give 13 lakh.
17) Iridium Cobra @Paramkasi77
In Coimbatore, a rich family boy was profiled & literally honeytrapped by Coimbatore based girl & accomplices, while touring Singapore Both returned to Cbe, married & in a week’s time fake 498a filed & 10crores worth of prime property demanded from husband
18) Bharat Tiwari @Dr_amatist
My own. Only differing details ? 20 days of living together. 50 lakhs demanded.
19) Manoj Sahni @montysahni02
I paid 15 lacks for 9 months of marriage n tht too after she aborted d child which ws 4 months old.
20) Deepak Mehta @DeepakmehtaH
A known boy married a divorcee n in a yr she wants family property of his share to transferred to her name ,gone to her parental home and files a police complaint of harrasment. The family is doomed running from pillar to post, boy suffering at work n mentally disturbed .
The issue is not really with the greedy women and their families. They have been armed by our Gender Biased Laws, which encourage them to trap men almost legally. Unless the system changes and Alimony too is criminalised just like Dowry, this legal extortion is going to thrive even more in the coming years.
- Alimony must be paid to the real deserving women, who would have stayed in the marriage for many years and contributed significantly in the making of a home
- Alimony cannot be by default just because you are the wife! The current laws force husbands to pay up even when the wives desert them or are involved in extra marital affairs or just simply throwing tantrums to end marriage
- Alimony or maintenance must be completely separate for women and should not be clubbed with that of minor children of divorced parents
If a woman chooses not to work or sit idle spending her entire day on Social Media, why should a man be made accountable to foot her bill, despite her ability to work and earn post divorce?